My word, I have been barking up this tree for a while now, with no success. I would love to see my wife on the mat, share in the struggle with her. Going through something so taxing together would build on any relationship, not just a marriage.
However, for a whole lot of different reasons, she has yet to throw on a gi and give it a go. I’m not worried about whether it happens or not, really. It would be great to live this lifestyle together. I would love to be able to settle any dispute we have in a submission-only no time limit match on our living room mats. In the gi, of course.
That being said, it might never happen. She might never catch the bug the way so many of us have it. That’s fine, but here is why I think it would be pretty freaking sweet if she joined up.
There’s a built in social network. How many spouses really like the other spouse’s friends? I mean, I love my wife’s friends. . . and I would much rather spend a night at their house playing Scattergories than on the mat. . . But if both spouses train, there’s no discussion what the plans are for Friday night and Saturday morning. Sure, go out after to a movie with the BJJ Muggles (Harry Potter reference – it would mean a person that doesn’t train), but that would be supplementary to what the night really revolved around. There are birthdays, holidays and every other type of celebration a person can imagine to be had with a close, core group of people that legitimately care about each other. Not just work “friends” or some dude you went to college with.
There are so many BJJ families out there. That is a wonderful thing. To see Mom, Dad and Child all suited up with the same patches, stepping on the mat and going to battle. That sharing of similar experiences strengthens every aspect of the family unit. Win, lose, or draw, the experience is always something amazing. Imagine being able to experience that as a family with the people you love most in the world. Watching your spouse’s hand get raised, getting a consoling “good job Mom/Dad” from your child after a tough loss, seeing the huge smile on your child’s face after their first win. These are all magical moments that could be shared within the family.
The struggles of training and competitions, the ups and downs and peaks and valleys could all be much more manageable if two people who shared a life could also share this journey.
My wife and I love going on adventures together. I hope someday she will join me on this one.